The Storm-Tossed Family by Russell D. Moore

Author:Russell D. Moore
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Religion/Christian Life/Family
Publisher: B&H Publishing Group
Published: 2018-09-14T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nine

The Road to and from Divorce

Women these days are as “carnal as hell,” he said, and that’s why he wanted dating advice from me. He was a stranger to me, but he came to my office wanting to make sure that as he dated in this cultural environment that he would know how to find a godly Christian mate. He wanted, he said, to find a “Proverbs 31 woman.” She needed, he said, to agree with him doctrinally, especially on matters related to the doctrines of election and predestination. We were five or six minutes in before I made some comment about a passage of Scripture to which he replied, “Yes, that’s what my wife says.” It took me several seconds to orient myself. “Your wife?” I asked. “You’re married?” He said he was. “How on earth are we then talking about your dating?” He laughed, seeing my confusion, and said, “Oh, don’t worry. I’m not cheating on her. I’m going to divorce her.”

Didn’t I agree, he asked, that one could divorce if one is “unequally yoked” with another? Before I could even answer “no,” he further explained that his wife was not an unbeliever, but rather, he believed them to be unequally yoked because he was spiritually mature while she was, in his words, “carnal as hell.” His major issue with her was that she had a hyphenated name—her maiden name joined with his—which was apparently all the evidence he needed that she was not submitting to him as “the head of my house.” But, even beyond that, he said, her biblical ignorance sparked constant theological debates that would frequently confuse the children. So, he surmised, he could when freed from her, find a good, properly submissive, theologically-educated woman.

Intrigued, I asked about the theological disagreements, which he then told me were about the moderate use of alcohol. As I’ve mentioned, I am part of a church communion that sees wisdom in abstinence from alcohol, but I know that this is a minority report in the history of the church and that many Christians do otherwise. I couldn’t imagine this being a doctrinal fight that would disrupt a friendship much less a marriage. I asked, how do the arguments manifest themselves? “Usually it’s when she sees me moderately using alcohol,” he said. I pressed a little further, asking him to describe his moderate use of alcohol. “Well,” he said. “Every night I’ll start drinking a bottle of bourbon and a twelve pack of beer until I go to sleep.” Now I had some clarity. I started to reference biblical passages on drunkenness, and ministries various churches had for those who grapple with chemical dependence issues. He looked at me, confused, as though I had suggested swapping recipes for seven-layer salad or some other matter irrelevant to the issue of concern. He reached out his hand and said, “Oh no. I’ve never been drunk in my life.”

Now, I don’t know much about drinking, but I’ve dealt with many people who

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